It's true. Jesus is in our kitchen. Right now. As in while I type this.
Okay, okay, you can stop worrying that I am off some sort of medication or have had a stroke. It's nothing like that. Jesus is a praying mantis that has somehow made his way into our kitchen. And into our lives.
While a normal family would try to A) catch it and take it back outside, or B) smush it in a tissue and flush it down the toilet, alas, we are not a normal family. Not even close.
Last summer we had a very large spider take up residence in between our interior kitchen window and the sorry excuse of a storm window we have. We named him "Spidey" and it was always cause for celebration when some bug would find it's way into Spidey's web. We'd call out to everyone in the house, "Come quick! He's gonna get another one!" And that would be our entertainment for the next half hour or so. Sure, there was a big ol' creep factor involved with the thought that Spidey might one day find his way inside the house, but as long as he was controlling the bug population before it could come inside he was a welcome addition to the family. May his hairy legs rest in peace.
This year, there is no Spidey in residence. Instead, there is Jesus the praying mantis. (Get the humor there, folks?) While I'm not thrilled that he is on the inside of the glass, I am more than happy to allow him to dine on all the creepy crawlies that attempt to invade through our sad-sack old windows.
Aren't we so... special?
Blogger's note added Sunday, August 2, 2009:
This morning we had to say goodbye to Jesus. I found him suffering on the kitchen window sill after what must have been a David and Goliath-esque battle with a spider. Or would it have been more like Godzilla vs. Mothra? A question for the ages...
*sniff sniff*
We will miss you Jesus.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
The Long and Short of It
Why is it some women have this strange urge to grow their hair out? And then, just when it gets longer, we have this strange urge to cut it shorter again? It's something akin to a sport for some of us, I swear.
I had long, long hair when I was a little girl. At least I did until my brother decided to play "Barbershop" when we were staying at my grandma's house one weekend. Thankfully, he had barely started in with a pair of those little-kid safety scissors before grandma walked in the room and stopped him. Of course, that didn't change the fact that he'd already successfully hacked a big chunk out of the hair on the back of my head.
Let's just say my mother was less than amused. She washed and brushed out my hair one last time, had my dad take me to Sears for one last picture of me with my long hair (since the front still looked unscathed) and then had it all cut off in what was probably supposed to look like a Dorothy Hamill cut. Trust me, I never felt like I would be twirling on ice with that haircut. To this day, I still think of the term 'bowl haircut' when I see me with that hairdo. Ugh.
Ironically, that was the beginning of many years of growing my hair out long and then chopping it all off again. And again. And... well... again.
I always want what I don't have. Like curly hair. I got more permanent waves in my lifetime than I care to admit to. A few even made me look remarkably like Chaka Khan. Just in case you are wondering, it was not an attractive look for a short, chubby white girl.
Now, on the verge of 39, I still cannot figure out what the heck I want my hair to look like. The angst usually starts after a bad hair cut. I kind of go on strike, I guess you'd say. I decide to just grow it all back out and pull it back in a pony tail every day. Quick. Easy. Not very flattering, mind you, but efficient nonetheless.
And then I get the urge. The Urge. Like now. I have it, and bad. I want to get a style. Something that just screams SASSY! The problem is, I never know what that style is.
So, this time I hatched a plan: I took pictures of two hairstyles I couldn't choose between, and then asked a bunch of the ladies from work yesterday. I kept the running tally a secret from them until after they had voted. One girl was outright shocked that I'd actually get whichever style got the most votes. And, maybe it is a tiny bit crazy. But if you think about it, these people see me day in and day out... they should have a pretty good sense of who I am and what I could pull off. Right?
Monday is my appointment. And I'm ready! SASSY hair... here I come! Wish me luck!
I had long, long hair when I was a little girl. At least I did until my brother decided to play "Barbershop" when we were staying at my grandma's house one weekend. Thankfully, he had barely started in with a pair of those little-kid safety scissors before grandma walked in the room and stopped him. Of course, that didn't change the fact that he'd already successfully hacked a big chunk out of the hair on the back of my head.
Let's just say my mother was less than amused. She washed and brushed out my hair one last time, had my dad take me to Sears for one last picture of me with my long hair (since the front still looked unscathed) and then had it all cut off in what was probably supposed to look like a Dorothy Hamill cut. Trust me, I never felt like I would be twirling on ice with that haircut. To this day, I still think of the term 'bowl haircut' when I see me with that hairdo. Ugh.
Ironically, that was the beginning of many years of growing my hair out long and then chopping it all off again. And again. And... well... again.
I always want what I don't have. Like curly hair. I got more permanent waves in my lifetime than I care to admit to. A few even made me look remarkably like Chaka Khan. Just in case you are wondering, it was not an attractive look for a short, chubby white girl.
Now, on the verge of 39, I still cannot figure out what the heck I want my hair to look like. The angst usually starts after a bad hair cut. I kind of go on strike, I guess you'd say. I decide to just grow it all back out and pull it back in a pony tail every day. Quick. Easy. Not very flattering, mind you, but efficient nonetheless.
And then I get the urge. The Urge. Like now. I have it, and bad. I want to get a style. Something that just screams SASSY! The problem is, I never know what that style is.
So, this time I hatched a plan: I took pictures of two hairstyles I couldn't choose between, and then asked a bunch of the ladies from work yesterday. I kept the running tally a secret from them until after they had voted. One girl was outright shocked that I'd actually get whichever style got the most votes. And, maybe it is a tiny bit crazy. But if you think about it, these people see me day in and day out... they should have a pretty good sense of who I am and what I could pull off. Right?
Monday is my appointment. And I'm ready! SASSY hair... here I come! Wish me luck!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Reality Check
The following post is actually from one of the many e-mail forwards I get. E-mail forwards are a huge pet peeve of mine, especially the ones that predict doom and bad fortune if not sent to 20 people in the next 5 minutes. But, once in a blue moon or two, I actually find something entertaining or worthwhile amidst the stinkers.
This one was entitled, “To All the Kids Who Survived the 1930’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s.” Kind of catchy in a run-on, incomplete sentence way, wouldn’t you say? Yeah, I didn’t think so either. Personally, I think it should be called something like this:
“Here’s a Reality Check for the Younger Generations”
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked or drank alcohol (or both!) while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn’t get tested for diabetes.
Then, after that unspeakable trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints with slats far enough apart for us to get our chubby arms and legs in between.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps on instead of helmets on our heads.
As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes. (I even remember riding on my dad’s lap while he drove down the interstate… good fun.)
Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat… sometimes even sitting on the open tailgate.
We drank water from a garden hose and not from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends from one bottle and no one actually died from it.
We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon and we drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar… and we weren’t overweight. Why? Because we were always outside playing!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day, because we didn’t have cell phones. And we were okay.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have video games, no 150 channels on cable, no DVDs, no surround sound or CDs, no cell phones, no personal computers, no internet or chat rooms. Instead, we had friends and we went outside and found them.
We fell out of trees, got cuts, broke bones and knocked out teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and we did not put out everyone’s eyes no matter what our mothers told us.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell.
Little league had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. And those who did learned that the losing teams didn’t get trophies, too.
When we got a little older, the idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law. Image that!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
If YOU are one of them… congratulations!
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn’t it?
This one was entitled, “To All the Kids Who Survived the 1930’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s.” Kind of catchy in a run-on, incomplete sentence way, wouldn’t you say? Yeah, I didn’t think so either. Personally, I think it should be called something like this:
“Here’s a Reality Check for the Younger Generations”
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked or drank alcohol (or both!) while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn’t get tested for diabetes.
Then, after that unspeakable trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints with slats far enough apart for us to get our chubby arms and legs in between.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps on instead of helmets on our heads.
As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes. (I even remember riding on my dad’s lap while he drove down the interstate… good fun.)
Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat… sometimes even sitting on the open tailgate.
We drank water from a garden hose and not from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends from one bottle and no one actually died from it.
We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon and we drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar… and we weren’t overweight. Why? Because we were always outside playing!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day, because we didn’t have cell phones. And we were okay.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have video games, no 150 channels on cable, no DVDs, no surround sound or CDs, no cell phones, no personal computers, no internet or chat rooms. Instead, we had friends and we went outside and found them.
We fell out of trees, got cuts, broke bones and knocked out teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and we did not put out everyone’s eyes no matter what our mothers told us.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell.
Little league had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. And those who did learned that the losing teams didn’t get trophies, too.
When we got a little older, the idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law. Image that!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
If YOU are one of them… congratulations!
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn’t it?
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Slug Bug!
Tonight, as we were heading home from a nice family night together, we started talking about ways we can make our upcoming family road trip a bit more... um... 'interactive' shall we say? You know, something to make the miles fly by a little more quickly. I, for one, suggested the good old-fashioned game of 'slug bug'. DD's reply was, "What the heck is a slug bug?!" Obviously, I have not raised her right. I'm so very sorry.
Apparently the new version of the game is called 'cruiser bruiser' since there are far more PT Cruisers on the road these days than VW bugs. Ohhhhh. I am soooooo last Tuesday when it comes to car games, I guess. Pardon me.
DH chimed in and said, "What about pop-eye and ultimate pop-eye?" For those of you not in-the-know about this game, you shout "Pop-eye!" and hit the dash when you see a vehicle with one headlight out. Or, if it happens to be a police vehicle, then it counts as an 'ultimate' pop eye. Whoopie-twang!
At this point, DH and I lost ourselves talking about some of the stupid things we did with our friends back when we were first driving. Like chinese fire-drills. And having to pay a forfeit of some sort if we said 'left' or 'right' instead of 'Luigi' or 'Ralph'. My favorite was having to lift your feet off the floor and put your finger on a screw head, yelling "Peanut butter!" every time you drove over a railroad track. Obviously, as teens we were easily entertained. Not much has changed, either.
So, my question to you all is this: what car games did you play when you were younger? Or still play, for that matter. License plate poker? I-spy? Twenty questions? What did you do to make the time go by? I'd love to hear your stories...
Apparently the new version of the game is called 'cruiser bruiser' since there are far more PT Cruisers on the road these days than VW bugs. Ohhhhh. I am soooooo last Tuesday when it comes to car games, I guess. Pardon me.
DH chimed in and said, "What about pop-eye and ultimate pop-eye?" For those of you not in-the-know about this game, you shout "Pop-eye!" and hit the dash when you see a vehicle with one headlight out. Or, if it happens to be a police vehicle, then it counts as an 'ultimate' pop eye. Whoopie-twang!
At this point, DH and I lost ourselves talking about some of the stupid things we did with our friends back when we were first driving. Like chinese fire-drills. And having to pay a forfeit of some sort if we said 'left' or 'right' instead of 'Luigi' or 'Ralph'. My favorite was having to lift your feet off the floor and put your finger on a screw head, yelling "Peanut butter!" every time you drove over a railroad track. Obviously, as teens we were easily entertained. Not much has changed, either.
So, my question to you all is this: what car games did you play when you were younger? Or still play, for that matter. License plate poker? I-spy? Twenty questions? What did you do to make the time go by? I'd love to hear your stories...
Saturday, May 16, 2009
66 Questions
If you don't have a Facebook account, then you are missing out on a strange phenomenon that takes the site by storm every few weeks: The Questionnaire.
It reminds me of being a young girl passing notes in school, asking friends if they have a crush on Mike, or what are they doing this weekend. Only nowadays the notes are much, much more sophisticated. And now they are posted in Facebook notes instead of on a piece of lined composition paper ripped out of a spiral notebook like we used to do in the good ol' days.
And, even more noteworthy... now adults are in on it, too. Allow me to take an excerpt off of my own Facebook wall where I channeled my inner 12-year old this morning and answered the latest questionnaire circling the cyber world. Keep in mind I did not change the questions or the introduction. You tell me after reading it if you feel like you're in the seventh grade all over again.
Ladies and Gentlemen... I give you: 66 questions...
66 questions you've probably never been asked. If you've been tagged, answer the questions and add it in a new note, then tag the person who tagged you as well as some new people who you'd like to see answer these questions! :)
1. First thing you wash in the shower?
Technically, the first thing I do is stand in the shower and try not to cry because I'm tired and I don't want to be up yet. THEN I wash my hair.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
My red K.L.E.T.C. hoodie. But I have my eye on a really sweet pale orange Harley Davidson one. *fingers crossed*
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Over and over again for the rest of my life.
4. Do you plan outfits?
Yes, but only because I take my clothes into the spare bedroom so I don't wake up DH when I get ready in the morning. He works nights and sleeps days, so that would just be plain mean.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Bewildered. The hamster escaped again last night even after all three of us checked that the cage was secure. So, yeah... bewildered.
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red?
A red gel pen.
7. What was the last dream you remember having?
It was this morning, actually. And I was at The Pioneer Woman's house, but it really wasn't her house, and it was for some sort of job interview. But not for me, for some people I know. And there were Amish people in it. It was a tad bizarre.
8. Did you meet anybody new today
Considering I just woke up a half hour ago, that would be a 'no'. Amen.
9. What are you craving right now?
Sleep. Coffee. A donut. Beautiful weather. A great day with the family. You know, not much.
10. Do you floss?
Yep. I love those little floss picks and hoard them, lest I run out.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Cabbage roses. Or ornamental cabbage. Obviously I have a bad case of Spring Fever.
12. Are you emotional?
To the point of being a bit unstable, yes.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
All at once? Not lately.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Depends on what type of ice cream you're talking about. A cone? No. A bar? Yes. I could go on, you know...
15. Do you like your hair?
Only on 'good hair days'... and I like having hair, so that's a plus, too.
16. Do you like yourself?
For the most part. I'm a little on the self-depreciating side though.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
No, I prefer sharing a meal with people who can carry on a conversation in English, not G-Dubya-ese.
18. What are you listening to right now?
The TV in the next room and the coffee pot gurgling. And the voices in my head.
19. Are your parents strict?
They were, yes. Now I am the strict parent... sorta.
20. Would you go sky diving?
With my insane fear of heights, I would probably die of a massive coronary before hitting the ground. Not really planning to go out like that, so no.
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
I'm going to steal my friend Ty's answer on this one because it's my favorite way, too: 'Yip. With pepper and beefsteak tomatoes, please.'
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
A few. They put their pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us, whether they want you to believe it or not.
23. Do you rent movies often?
Nope.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room in which you are?
Several things: a sun catcher wind chime, a glass fish sculpture (that I named Emery... don't ask), and a small lamp with a really awesome shade.
25. What countries have you visited?
Mexico. But sometimes I feel like a tourist in the U.S., so does that count?
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
Sure. Back before such things as last-call return and caller I.D. Now it's more fun to mess with people that call me. I love making them think they've called a wrong number only to have them apologize, hang up and call back. Good fun.
27. Ever been on a train?
Only once. The Winter Park ski train.
28. Brown or white eggs?
Cooked and dead. I don't care what the outside looks like.
29. Do you have a cell-phone?
Yes. And a teenager to show me how to use it.
31. Do you use chap stick?
Burt's Bees lip balm... but not chap stick.
32. Do you own a gun?
Yep. And if you break into my house you'll get a quick glance of it before you meet your maker.
33. Can you use chop sticks?
Yes. For some reason some foods don't taste right if eaten any other way.
34. Who are you going to be with tonight?
DH. And DD, if she doesn't make plans to ditch us.
35. Are you too forgiving?
Uh, no. If there is a grudge around, I'm the one holding it.
36. Ever been in love?
Duh.
37. What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
Probably working in the yard with me again. ;o)
38. Ever have cream puffs?
Yes. Some could have been used as paperweights and been more successful. Some good enough to bring tears to my eyes. (see #12...)
39. Last time you cried?
Last night. DD and I watched the Grey's Anatomy finale we had taped.
40. What was the last question you asked?
"Are you SERIOUS?!" ... when told the $#@& hamster got out... again.
41. Favorite time of the year?
Spring. It's the fever talkin'.
42. Do you have any tattoos?
ME? Are you serious? If you have to ask, then you don't know me very well...
43. Are you sarcastic?
Never. Seriously.
44. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
I think so. But it's probably one of hundreds of movies I don't really remember because I slept through most of it.
45. Ever walked into a wall?
Just yesterday. Again.
46. Favorite color?
For what? For my hair color, a reddish brown. For my lawn, green. For a sports car, red. Seriously, the question needs to be more specific.
47. Have you ever slapped someone?
Hell, yes. Actually, I believe a couple of those 'someones' are FB friends, too. (Or reading this blog post...)
48. Is your hair curly?
Not naturally, no.
49. What was the last CD you bought?
I bought a bunch of Steven Lynch CD's for a friend for Christmas.
50. Do looks matter?
Not as much as cleanliness and manners.
51. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
I have before. I wouldn't ever again.
52. Is your phone bill sky high?
Define 'sky high.'
53. Do you like your life right now?
Oh, yes. Without a doubt. LIFE IS GOOD!
54. Do you sleep with the TV on?
I fall asleep with the TV on. I got into the habit a long time ago, and now I need the distraction so my mind will stop racing long enough to get to sleep.
55. Can you handle the truth?
I can handle anything except not knowing. The unknown freaks me out.
56. Do you have good vision?
Pretty good with my glasses.
57. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Easily. If you have any doubt, see #35.
58. How often do you talk on the phone?
With DH, all the time. At work, quite a bit. Any other time, rarely.
59. The last person you held hands with?
DH. Last night after dinner. It was awesome.
60. What are you wearing?
Pajamas. DH's robe. A pair of hippo slippers. I'm a real babe in the mornings.
61. What is your favorite animal?
Dogs. Can't imagine my life without them.
62. Where was your profile picture taken?
Somewhere around Meade or Sublette, KS during our last poker run. The pic was snapped by my new friend Stephanie, whom I met that day.
63. Can you hula hoop?
Now? I'd prefer to be dressed for the day first.
64. Do you have a job?
A great job, actually. I'm one of the lucky ones.
65. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Groceries. But the most recent frivolous thing was some flowers for the flower beds.
66. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yep. In high school. To meet rowdy friends and do rowdy things. I stepped on a prickly-pear cactus, so fate got me good for it, too.
It reminds me of being a young girl passing notes in school, asking friends if they have a crush on Mike, or what are they doing this weekend. Only nowadays the notes are much, much more sophisticated. And now they are posted in Facebook notes instead of on a piece of lined composition paper ripped out of a spiral notebook like we used to do in the good ol' days.
And, even more noteworthy... now adults are in on it, too. Allow me to take an excerpt off of my own Facebook wall where I channeled my inner 12-year old this morning and answered the latest questionnaire circling the cyber world. Keep in mind I did not change the questions or the introduction. You tell me after reading it if you feel like you're in the seventh grade all over again.
Ladies and Gentlemen... I give you: 66 questions...
66 questions you've probably never been asked. If you've been tagged, answer the questions and add it in a new note, then tag the person who tagged you as well as some new people who you'd like to see answer these questions! :)
1. First thing you wash in the shower?
Technically, the first thing I do is stand in the shower and try not to cry because I'm tired and I don't want to be up yet. THEN I wash my hair.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
My red K.L.E.T.C. hoodie. But I have my eye on a really sweet pale orange Harley Davidson one. *fingers crossed*
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Over and over again for the rest of my life.
4. Do you plan outfits?
Yes, but only because I take my clothes into the spare bedroom so I don't wake up DH when I get ready in the morning. He works nights and sleeps days, so that would just be plain mean.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Bewildered. The hamster escaped again last night even after all three of us checked that the cage was secure. So, yeah... bewildered.
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red?
A red gel pen.
7. What was the last dream you remember having?
It was this morning, actually. And I was at The Pioneer Woman's house, but it really wasn't her house, and it was for some sort of job interview. But not for me, for some people I know. And there were Amish people in it. It was a tad bizarre.
8. Did you meet anybody new today
Considering I just woke up a half hour ago, that would be a 'no'. Amen.
9. What are you craving right now?
Sleep. Coffee. A donut. Beautiful weather. A great day with the family. You know, not much.
10. Do you floss?
Yep. I love those little floss picks and hoard them, lest I run out.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Cabbage roses. Or ornamental cabbage. Obviously I have a bad case of Spring Fever.
12. Are you emotional?
To the point of being a bit unstable, yes.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
All at once? Not lately.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Depends on what type of ice cream you're talking about. A cone? No. A bar? Yes. I could go on, you know...
15. Do you like your hair?
Only on 'good hair days'... and I like having hair, so that's a plus, too.
16. Do you like yourself?
For the most part. I'm a little on the self-depreciating side though.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
No, I prefer sharing a meal with people who can carry on a conversation in English, not G-Dubya-ese.
18. What are you listening to right now?
The TV in the next room and the coffee pot gurgling. And the voices in my head.
19. Are your parents strict?
They were, yes. Now I am the strict parent... sorta.
20. Would you go sky diving?
With my insane fear of heights, I would probably die of a massive coronary before hitting the ground. Not really planning to go out like that, so no.
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
I'm going to steal my friend Ty's answer on this one because it's my favorite way, too: 'Yip. With pepper and beefsteak tomatoes, please.'
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
A few. They put their pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us, whether they want you to believe it or not.
23. Do you rent movies often?
Nope.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room in which you are?
Several things: a sun catcher wind chime, a glass fish sculpture (that I named Emery... don't ask), and a small lamp with a really awesome shade.
25. What countries have you visited?
Mexico. But sometimes I feel like a tourist in the U.S., so does that count?
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
Sure. Back before such things as last-call return and caller I.D. Now it's more fun to mess with people that call me. I love making them think they've called a wrong number only to have them apologize, hang up and call back. Good fun.
27. Ever been on a train?
Only once. The Winter Park ski train.
28. Brown or white eggs?
Cooked and dead. I don't care what the outside looks like.
29. Do you have a cell-phone?
Yes. And a teenager to show me how to use it.
31. Do you use chap stick?
Burt's Bees lip balm... but not chap stick.
32. Do you own a gun?
Yep. And if you break into my house you'll get a quick glance of it before you meet your maker.
33. Can you use chop sticks?
Yes. For some reason some foods don't taste right if eaten any other way.
34. Who are you going to be with tonight?
DH. And DD, if she doesn't make plans to ditch us.
35. Are you too forgiving?
Uh, no. If there is a grudge around, I'm the one holding it.
36. Ever been in love?
Duh.
37. What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
Probably working in the yard with me again. ;o)
38. Ever have cream puffs?
Yes. Some could have been used as paperweights and been more successful. Some good enough to bring tears to my eyes. (see #12...)
39. Last time you cried?
Last night. DD and I watched the Grey's Anatomy finale we had taped.
40. What was the last question you asked?
"Are you SERIOUS?!" ... when told the $#@& hamster got out... again.
41. Favorite time of the year?
Spring. It's the fever talkin'.
42. Do you have any tattoos?
ME? Are you serious? If you have to ask, then you don't know me very well...
43. Are you sarcastic?
Never. Seriously.
44. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
I think so. But it's probably one of hundreds of movies I don't really remember because I slept through most of it.
45. Ever walked into a wall?
Just yesterday. Again.
46. Favorite color?
For what? For my hair color, a reddish brown. For my lawn, green. For a sports car, red. Seriously, the question needs to be more specific.
47. Have you ever slapped someone?
Hell, yes. Actually, I believe a couple of those 'someones' are FB friends, too. (Or reading this blog post...)
48. Is your hair curly?
Not naturally, no.
49. What was the last CD you bought?
I bought a bunch of Steven Lynch CD's for a friend for Christmas.
50. Do looks matter?
Not as much as cleanliness and manners.
51. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
I have before. I wouldn't ever again.
52. Is your phone bill sky high?
Define 'sky high.'
53. Do you like your life right now?
Oh, yes. Without a doubt. LIFE IS GOOD!
54. Do you sleep with the TV on?
I fall asleep with the TV on. I got into the habit a long time ago, and now I need the distraction so my mind will stop racing long enough to get to sleep.
55. Can you handle the truth?
I can handle anything except not knowing. The unknown freaks me out.
56. Do you have good vision?
Pretty good with my glasses.
57. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Easily. If you have any doubt, see #35.
58. How often do you talk on the phone?
With DH, all the time. At work, quite a bit. Any other time, rarely.
59. The last person you held hands with?
DH. Last night after dinner. It was awesome.
60. What are you wearing?
Pajamas. DH's robe. A pair of hippo slippers. I'm a real babe in the mornings.
61. What is your favorite animal?
Dogs. Can't imagine my life without them.
62. Where was your profile picture taken?
Somewhere around Meade or Sublette, KS during our last poker run. The pic was snapped by my new friend Stephanie, whom I met that day.
63. Can you hula hoop?
Now? I'd prefer to be dressed for the day first.
64. Do you have a job?
A great job, actually. I'm one of the lucky ones.
65. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Groceries. But the most recent frivolous thing was some flowers for the flower beds.
66. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yep. In high school. To meet rowdy friends and do rowdy things. I stepped on a prickly-pear cactus, so fate got me good for it, too.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Maybe I Am After All...
My Mother and I are diametric opposites. I have known this for many, many years. She is driven, hard-working and talented beyond explanation. I am convinced there is nothing she cannot do if she sets her mind to it. Nothing. And she doesn't need a staff of 300 to do it (eat your heart out Martha Stewart).
As for me, I am lazy, lazy... and while I have a creative side, I am not anywhere near as talented as she is even on my best of days. And I don't try to be (and thusly, LAZY).
My Mother's house is so clean you could eat off the floors. At my house there are times when I can't even see my floors through all the dog hair and clutter. Okay, so that might be a slight exaggeration, but in comparison, it's close.
My Mom never just sits. She is always doing something. Always. For me, I am an Olympic-caliber sitter.
Anyone could stop in at my Mom's house at any time and find it clean and company ready. She is never running around in her pajamas with her hair uncombed watching re-runs of America's Next Top Model. Me, on the other hand... well, I live in fear of unannounced company because at any given time I could be half-dressed, unshowered and catatonic in front of my TV even while there is a towering mess leering at me from the kitchen sink.
But, while on the phone with my Mom today, I was reminded just how much I am like her. She and I are without a doubt cut from the same cloth when it comes to emotions, and how we both bottle them up inside. We are easily cut to the quick by offhand things said and done by people we consider friends. And then the hurt stays with us for a very, very long time.
I called my Mom today to wish her a Happy Mother's Day, and hung up missing her so much there aren't even words to explain it. We are so different. And yet we are so much alike. And while I spend a great deal of time wishing I was more like her... well, it dawns on me that I already am.
Hey, Mom? I love you. Happy Mother's Day.
As for me, I am lazy, lazy... and while I have a creative side, I am not anywhere near as talented as she is even on my best of days. And I don't try to be (and thusly, LAZY).
My Mother's house is so clean you could eat off the floors. At my house there are times when I can't even see my floors through all the dog hair and clutter. Okay, so that might be a slight exaggeration, but in comparison, it's close.
My Mom never just sits. She is always doing something. Always. For me, I am an Olympic-caliber sitter.
Anyone could stop in at my Mom's house at any time and find it clean and company ready. She is never running around in her pajamas with her hair uncombed watching re-runs of America's Next Top Model. Me, on the other hand... well, I live in fear of unannounced company because at any given time I could be half-dressed, unshowered and catatonic in front of my TV even while there is a towering mess leering at me from the kitchen sink.
But, while on the phone with my Mom today, I was reminded just how much I am like her. She and I are without a doubt cut from the same cloth when it comes to emotions, and how we both bottle them up inside. We are easily cut to the quick by offhand things said and done by people we consider friends. And then the hurt stays with us for a very, very long time.
I called my Mom today to wish her a Happy Mother's Day, and hung up missing her so much there aren't even words to explain it. We are so different. And yet we are so much alike. And while I spend a great deal of time wishing I was more like her... well, it dawns on me that I already am.
Hey, Mom? I love you. Happy Mother's Day.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Most... Disturbing.
In a strange twist of fate, my DH has suddenly decided he loves sushi. Not the raw fish variety, or even the cooked eel or octopus kind either... but the quest for a good California roll has become a slight obsession for him over the last few weeks.
The hard part is... well... we don't live anywhere near sushi. Sushi is unheard of in Small Town. It's like the proverbial red-headed stepchild of the food world here. I must confess... we have actually resorted to eating Schwan's frozen sushi, and that's just wrong. So, so very wrong.
After being inspired to try and make our own sushi rolls, we headed to an Asian market in the next town over. Keep in mind, I don't like to go anywhere new. Ever. Seriously. The fact that DH talked me into going to this store in the first place is next to a miracle. Seriously. But it was our only option to track down a sushi mat without ordering off the internet or waiting until our next trip to Big Suburbia... but did I mention DH's obsession? Yeah, there would be no waiting.
So, we walked into the store. My first thought was, "What the hell is that smell?!" It was somewhere between sweat socks and rotten food. Or both. No exaggeration. Had I been alone, I would have left before the door had a chance to close behind me. It was baaaad.
Have I mentioned... his obsession? There was no leaving. Not yet, anyway.
I was amazed at the strange and exotic items they carried. Maybe 'amazed' isn't the right word. Alarmed might be a better word. Yeah... let's go with alarmed.
But we persevered and were able to find a sushi mat. In fact, we bought two... you know, just in case something happened to the first one... then we'd never have to go back. Good plan.
But it wasn't until we were at the register getting ready to pay that we saw the most disturbing thing I think I've ever seen in a store: panties in Ziploc baggies up in the display case by the register.
Panties. In Ziplocs.
Had the sushi mats not been fully (and safely) sealed in their packages, we would have dropped them and ran. RAN, I tell you!
But, did I mention the obsession?
Well, obsessed or not, for some unexplained reason we lost our appetite for sushi tonight. With any luck, the visual of those Ziploced panties will fade before we reach for those sushi mats.
I hope.
The hard part is... well... we don't live anywhere near sushi. Sushi is unheard of in Small Town. It's like the proverbial red-headed stepchild of the food world here. I must confess... we have actually resorted to eating Schwan's frozen sushi, and that's just wrong. So, so very wrong.
After being inspired to try and make our own sushi rolls, we headed to an Asian market in the next town over. Keep in mind, I don't like to go anywhere new. Ever. Seriously. The fact that DH talked me into going to this store in the first place is next to a miracle. Seriously. But it was our only option to track down a sushi mat without ordering off the internet or waiting until our next trip to Big Suburbia... but did I mention DH's obsession? Yeah, there would be no waiting.
So, we walked into the store. My first thought was, "What the hell is that smell?!" It was somewhere between sweat socks and rotten food. Or both. No exaggeration. Had I been alone, I would have left before the door had a chance to close behind me. It was baaaad.
Have I mentioned... his obsession? There was no leaving. Not yet, anyway.
I was amazed at the strange and exotic items they carried. Maybe 'amazed' isn't the right word. Alarmed might be a better word. Yeah... let's go with alarmed.
But we persevered and were able to find a sushi mat. In fact, we bought two... you know, just in case something happened to the first one... then we'd never have to go back. Good plan.
But it wasn't until we were at the register getting ready to pay that we saw the most disturbing thing I think I've ever seen in a store: panties in Ziploc baggies up in the display case by the register.
Panties. In Ziplocs.
Had the sushi mats not been fully (and safely) sealed in their packages, we would have dropped them and ran. RAN, I tell you!
But, did I mention the obsession?
Well, obsessed or not, for some unexplained reason we lost our appetite for sushi tonight. With any luck, the visual of those Ziploced panties will fade before we reach for those sushi mats.
I hope.
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